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| THE Jokes Thread | ||
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AMPosts: 454 |
A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john. "How did you get in here?" he asked. "Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!" |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!" So they walked in, and the Jamaican said, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in... Dey make you wild at sex. "The wife got really interested in buying the sandals, but the husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the shopkeeper, "How could sandals make you into a sexfreak? "The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon. You doan haff to do nutting cept try dem on. "So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming, "You got dem on da wrong feet! Mon, you got dem on da wrong feet.!" |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
LOL tires!
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
Screw with your co-workers today When they're away from their computer: 1. Take a screenshot of their desktop 2. Create a new folder somewhere on their hard drive and move all of their icons/files from the desktop there 3. Auto-hide their task bar (right click on the task bar and go to properties) 4. Set the screenshot from Step 1 as their desktop background 5. Watch them click away at the image of their icons and start menu when they come back to their desk! This can literally provide hours of entertainment, especially if they can't figure it out and they call the IT department. 6. Bonus points if you video tape it and throw it on YouTube so I can watch it and laugh my ass off |
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| Czech Pride |
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Registered Member #518
Joined: Wed Dec 27 2006, 01:15AMPosts: 911 |
So this is how Ultraman gets all his posts | ||
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| Ninca |
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Registered Member #561
Joined: Sun Feb 04 2007, 07:45AMPosts: 1109 |
hey ultraman, we did that last year to about 100 computers in the school, and everytime we did it we logged on this one faggot that everyone hates log-in, and he got suspended for it. Haha good times. | ||
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| Czech Pride |
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Registered Member #518
Joined: Wed Dec 27 2006, 01:15AM Posts: 911 |
So there are no more new jokes here? That's the joke... |
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| bleek |
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#woo
Registered Member #23
Joined: Fri Nov 25 2005, 11:39PMPosts: 665 |
This thread IS a joke. You've all been PUNK'D | ||
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!! |
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