| Fish Tank Clan :: Forums :: General Forums :: Schooling Fish |
|
« Previous topic | Next topic » |
| So you want to be a computer technician? | ||
| Author | Post | ||
| .4ngryToasters |
|
||
you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AMPosts: 2039 |
Congratulations! you have chosen a lucrative and highly in-demand career path. If you learn the rules of the game, the most complex of computer problems become nothing more than puzzles waiting to be solved. So what can an aspiring technician expect? Nothing. The main problem with most computers today tends to be the meaty bits occupying the space between the keyboard and chair. Unlike cars and heavy machinery that require some training, everyone seems to think that by being placed in front of a computer, they will be able to produce rainbows from their fingertips that navigate them seamlessly through internet land. This will be your guide on how to deal with that person, and get down to the repairs themselves. First, get used to the following greetings. People don't tend to say hi, but instead feel the need to exercise their inner comedian. Unfortunately for you, these people are neither creative, nor witty: It's broken (followed usually by a light toss onto the counter and a half assed grin) I'm computer illiterate (funny, I've never heard an actual illiterate person brag about their disability) Help Your first day will probably look something like this:  but after a year of hearing the same greetings:  The simplest fix is often the correct fix. Perhaps 75% of customer issues can be taken care of by power cycling the unit, removing the battery, or reseating cables. I once troubleshot a TV over the phone with an older woman. She was using it as a monitor for her Mac mini, but could not get any picture. My first question was "is the TV plugged in and on." Of course the answer was "yes," so I proceeded to have her troubleshoot the Mac and various cable configurations. I eventually asked her to change the input on the TV, to which she replied "How do I know what input I'm on?" Going off a hunch, I asked her to point the remote at the TV and hit the volume up button; I then asked her if any graphic showed up with the volume level. The was none. I calmly asked her to hit the power button. There was a gasp on the other end of the phone, followed by a short "thanks" and a -click-. Sometimes fact finding questions are necessary. For this you will typically find 3 types of people: informants, non-informants, and liars. The key to successfully extracting useful information depends on determining what type of customer you have. Here are some example conversations, and thoughts that should be running through your head (thoughts designated by //thought) Informant: tech - So do you use Outlook for email? I just need to know what to back up. cust - I've heard of Outlook before. I tried to install it once, but my cat walked across my keyboard and peed all over my monitor. that was approximately 8:00 on a Tuesday night. My friend also called me the other day, she was talking about Outlook and how she uses it for all her email. I wasn't really listening though, I hate that bitch. I called my internet service provider last year when the problem first started. It was a Wednesday. They gave me a ticket number. Can you look it up? I'm computer illiterate. Do you like toothpaste? tech - ok //... I'll just put that down as a yes Non-informant: tech - I see your Norton antivirus has expired. would you like me to re-up your subscription while we service the computer? cust - I never installed that. Someone must have put that there. How dare you accuse me of putting Norton on my computer. I need to speak with your manager. Liar: tech - So what were you doing when it crashed? Maybe it was a certain program or service that I can pinpoint. cust - Nothing, it just crashed. //I was definitely looking at porn tech - So it just crashes on its own? //you were looking at porn cust - Yup //Porn. Shit did I clear my history? What is history anyway? How can I be thinking about something I don't know exists? Most computer abusers will self incriminate cust - "So I was playing 'sink or float' with my buddy the other day after we smoked some bath salts, and we ended up on my computer. Now it won't turn on. So I get a new one under my warranty right?" tech - "Sir, you have a manufacturers warranty that will cover hardware failures only, not liquid damage." cust - "Oh. I didn't spill any liquid on it. I never said anything about liquid. You have to check this in and get me a new one." Lastly, no matter what, people will always act surprised when you actually have to charge them for work cust - "So you're telling me that because I went on twogirlsonegranny.xxx and downloaded a virus, I now have to pay for you to remove it? You must be insane!" tech - //do you go to you mechanic and expect him to fix your transmission for free? |
||
| Back to top |
|
||
Powered by e107 Forum System
|
|